There is no better feeling in the world than someone telling you (and meaning it) that they love you…not in spite of your wrinkles, but because of them. Someone who holds you while you cry, wipes away your tears, and knows exactly when to make you laugh. And not because they want something from you, but because they know you and love you.
When you can sit in silence…and be comfortable. Excuse me, when I can sit in silence, and be comfortable. (What? We all know I can’t NOT talk, LOL) That is when you know you’re comfortable with someone. When I’m not constantly trying to read someone, to anticipate the next thing that’s going to set them off, the next thing I’ll have to shield myself from…that’s important to me. I don’t like having to try to figure out whether or not some little thing I’m doing right now is going to make someone crazy or set someone’s neuroses off. I want to be able to communicate freely, to KNOW what it is that I’m doing wrong, and how to quit it. And, that’s what I have right now.
About 3 or 4 months ago, I was sure that what I have right now was exactly what I DIDN’T want. I have stability, I have comfort, and I have someone who depends on me the way I depend on them. I’ve never ever had this. I never knew that I wanted this. I never knew this was possible. But, I do. It’s weird. It’s exciting. It’s frightening. It’s perfect.
Well, actually, only one thing can make this perfect. And that would be if Brodie were here. And, yes, we’ve been down, together, to visit home, and Brodie, and they get along…it’s too perfect. Should I be scared? Should I worry that something horrible is going to happen, right when I have everything I’ve ever wanted?
If I worried…I wouldn’t be able to enjoy…so, I will enjoy this. I will enjoy being awoken at 4am with a hand brushing my face, all because he missed my smile. I will enjoy being surprised with a “night out” to wander Borders just because it’s a bookstore and I love to read. I will enjoy being surprised at work with a can of Bawls and a king-sized Whatchamacalit “just because”*. I will enjoy stolen kisses and random hugs. I think I’m going to enjoy actually being in love.
*I am well aware that many of these things don’t sound romantic. Deal with it. My idea of a romantic night out is 3 hours at borders followed by a quick stop at Baskin Robbins.
May 19th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
What’s more romantic than a Border’s run with someone you love? Are there people who wouldn’t find that romantic?
Anyway, I am sadly out of date on your love life, doll, but I think I can figure out who you’re talking about and had no idea things had progressed in that direction. Good for you, and grab up all the happy you can. You deserve it.